Just this story I wrote that other day .

Every now and then certain such event, incidents, accidents or instances take place in our life which change us inside out. They change us into people we never were and people we never thought we'd change into; they change our life, our outlook, our thoughts, our actions, our likes, our dislikes. They change the person we think we are; they change the person people know us as. These things change us. And these very things leave a long, lasting impression on us. They stick around in the face of that ugly memory we wish we could forget..., the memory which never lets us forget it. Often these memories leave something behind as a token which makes it all the more difficult for us to forget them. Be it emotional, physical or mental...this mark never leaves us, never!
One such event looked Rhea in the eyes when she was barely 12 years of age. And the event came her way in such an ugly disguise that she closed her eyes to avoid looking at it; She closed her eyes to never have to see anything so horrible; She closed her eyes forever...to never open them again. Even today, after over 30 years every time she thinks of her disability, that one day comes to her mind. The images still skim in her head. The memory of that day still haunts her dreams and it will forever continue to do so.

02 April, 2009
One look at the old woman sitting in the corner could tell you that the water runs deeper for her. And that her only misery was not her disability. She was traumatized and it was written all over her face; in the creases on her forehead, in her lips that had long forgotten the art of curving into a smile and in her eyes that constantly, unceasingly moved in all directions, as if wanting to see the colors, to see millions of faces around, the sun, the sky, the pink, yellow, red flowers and all the things she had not seen for long long time.
The minute I touched her hand, or tried to do so she jerked me off and I could see sweat forming on her upper eyebrows. Not wanting to scare the poor creature I whispered into her ears that I wanted to help.

Sometime in the past.
Dr. Ashutosh Upadhyay lived with his wife Shalini and kids Rhea and Rahul in the suburban town of Meerut. Dr. Ashutosh or Doctor Saab, the name his ever so grateful patients gave him, was a kind and selfless man. He worked hard and toiled all day to provide his family with all comforts they could ever dream of. Mrs. Shalini, his wife, was a firm believer, a good wife and an excellent mother. The Kid Rhea, 11, and Rahul, 6, were a bundle of joy, happiness and energy. Both did well at school and respected their parents not out of fear but out of love. Everyday Mrs. Shalini picked Rhea up from school and Doctor Saab got Rahul home on his way for lunch. They would eat together and then sit with big baskets of fruits which they would lazily hog on until late noon. Doctor Saab would then go back to work and Mom would make the kids finish their homework and get ready for the park, she’d take them to. They had a nice life. More to thank for than to ask. Everything was good at face value…Everyone was happy…And everyday the same things happened, well, Until Rhea’s 12th birthday at least.


19 Jan, 1960
Rhea was munching on the Pakoras filled with her moms love and her special cottage cheese stuffing. Suddenly a thought hit her head...like a bullet enters big chunk of wood.
The Pakoras were forgotten. The sulk-queen in her had re-surfaced.
“Mom! My Birthday is day after and you have not taken me Shopping.” an annoyed Rhea said. She had been planning her Perfect birthday party for over a month now.
Mrs. Shalini, exhausted from the day’s work replied, “We’ll take your shopping first thing tomorrow, Princess”
“No, I want to go today” Pat came Rhea’s reply.
“Cant you see Papa is keeping busy Honey?”
“But mom you said you’d take me today”
“You are a big Girl now, Rhea…You should understand.”
“You always break promises mom” Rhea was almost in tears.
And Mom did her magic again, she hugged Rhea and in no time everything was back to its picturesque self.


20 Jan, 1960
Dressed in a yellow saree, a 12 yard long drape, a typical Hindu wear in those days, Mrs. Shalini eagerly waited outside Main gate-1, Sophia girls’ School. The minute the clock would strike 2:30 her little one would come running to her. The streets were unusually deserted. There was an eerie silence all around. The absent noise of rickshaws and vegetable vendors did catch her attention but the thought was soon buried under the weight of Rhea’s Shopping list.
As planned, Rhea and her mom met Rahul and Dr. Upadhyay near the Bansal’s store where they’d shop for Rhea’s Birthday and finally drop themselves into the comfortable armchairs of “The Wadia’s Café” to have a scrumptious meal of Idli, Sambhar and Dosas.
Unlike its usual self the Main market, Abu Lane, was bereft of its huge crowd of early shoppers and road side vendors. It was as if the evil witch had send the vibes of her hatred early and the mice had retreated into their respective burrows…wanting to be spared. A number of shops were closed. After hours of looking for the perfect dress and indulging in a hundred thousand debates with mom, dad and Rahul over the perfect color, fit and style…Rhea settled on a pair of flare bottom pants and a tank top.


No one got to know when it started or where it would end. In a matter of minutes it engulfed the entire lane, the entire market, the entire vicinity and in no time…the entire city. Rhea was near the counter, making the payments when the shopkeeper suddenly closed the doors followed by the shutters, thus, leaving her parents and brother outside.
She saw it all from a small window near the guard post. She saw her brother’s hand being detached from his body, she saw her mother’s saree being ripped off, and she saw her dad’s breathing stop as a bullet came and hit him. People came out of their homes, panicked, not knowing what to do…where to go for help. Like swarms of flies people and a lot more people poured into the streets from all directions. The market which was deserted minutes back had turned into a sea of people running around in all directions. It looked like the mice had all come out of their burrows to bite from a big chuck of cheese. And In what seems like a fraction of a second everything was gone. Rhea was left looking into some enormous graveyard…Dead bodies all around. Everything was over. Everything was gone. What followed was darkness. Unending darkness. Forever.

The doctors said she could never see again; an after effect of the shock perhaps. She couldn’t see, yes. But the memories of that one day playing, rewinding and replaying in her mind like some hit cinema movie never left her sight. That day…the day India saw the worst communal riots ever


"Dropping pebbles of pure sound"